True Connection

by Nathalie Sabrina Dahl

When you think back of anything worthwhile and any memory you love to come back to frequently:

What do these 2 things have in common – most of the time?

I would guess in about 95 – 99 % of the time they involve other people:

– The magic you felt when connecting with someone on a deep level.

– The fun you had when sharing an experience with another human being.

– An event with family or a group of friends you adore.

– Intimacy with a loving partner.

– Your child being born, saying something funny or simply throwing his/her arms around you.

While relationships are the source of our greatest pleasures, they can also be the source of our greatest pains.

But when and why do some relationships turn into a painful experience?

I’d like to give you a little bit of a provoking thought, to ponder over. Feel free to come back to me with your feedback if you want (-> you can find the post here)

So, here’s my provocation:

Relationships only turn into painful experiences when one or more of the following 3 situations occur:

1. We come from need rather than unconditional love in the relationship: We need attention, devotion, love, physical contact, gifts etc

2. We let our ego rule and somehow feel diminished if the other person does not acknowledge our status, superiority, achievement, or simply our “rights”

3. We let stories of how someone should act, should not act, should be, should not be etc. interfere with feeling true connections – and these stories lead to us judging what is as good or bad

The love – hate duality in intimate relationships is a prime example for my statement above:

A profound love can only turn into hate when one or all of the above situations are happening. Think back. I know I’ve been guilty of falling into these traps in my past.

True unconditional love for an intimate partner, a son, a daughter or another family member, a friend, business partner or even a stranger on the street does not have another side to it.

It simply is. Unconditional Love.

And that’s where true, unconditional connection happens, based on my experience.

Next time you feel pulled into an emotional relationship drama, try to ask yourself:

Am I coming from need, ego or stories – or am I coming from a feeling of unconditional love?

Then take it from there 😊

Christmas is the perfect practice place. Enjoy your true connections.

Merry Christmas, dear reader.